Pushing my limits

This week at has definitely been one that I'd like to forget - not one of the best I've had shall we say.

In school, we have a Science Fair next week, which includes Grades 1 and 2 making experiments and presenting them in English. All well and good in theory - except the children don't speak enough English to actually achieve this. Secondly, for the last 2 weeks we have had B.Ed students from Canada taking our classes, and this week was exam week (to add to my stress and workload!) Therefore, I have not had my class to be able to work on Science experiments.
Thus..I spoke to Silvia and Profe Edith, who decided that it was important that the children participate, but their parents could do the experiments for them! So, I had the task of grouping the parents so that each group had an adult who could actually speak English (this was by no means easy), also had to make sure the groups had at least one child who was confident in speaking English. Anyway, it got done last week and since then I have had a steady stream of parents every day talking to me in Spanish about Science! They call the house at night, come into the house at lunchtimes and after school and catch me before, during and after classes! As great as it is for my Spanish it is becoming very tiring! I think the thing that topped it off was a parent coming to the house on a Saturday morning knocking on all the windows shouting '"Miss Katharine.."
My school week ended with a meeting for the Grade 1 parents, noone told me what the meeting was about, simply that I had to be there. To my great surprise they asked me to stand up and explain about the homework in Grade 1 and anything else I could think of on the spot. They are a nice group of parents and so when the inevitable topic of Science Fair came up I asked Silvia to tell them that I had unplugged the phone here and so they would not be able to call me! They took it well!! They then asked how I was going to thank and praise the children for their projects and so I declared there and then that Friday afternoon we would have a party and I would bake cakes for all the children! Oh my!

My class have also been having major behavioural issues, some of which I'm really worried about - showing classic signs of abuse at home etc. I've been trying to talk to people about what I'm seeing and what is happening. I just hope and pray we can sort it all out.

All this has been happening amid my being ill - have been ill for the last 2 weeks, partly a virus going around and partly because of a tooth infection - self diagnosed! I have been in class teaching with a temperature and dealing with parents feeling ill. I think I have thrown up most days too! Thankfully, I am on the mend now so worry ye not, family! I went to get my toothache checked at a local dentist here. He is a parent from the school. It was like going to a dentist at home - except, despite the fact he speaks perfect English he chatted away to me in Spanish. So, I came away in more pain, but am going back on Tuesday. I am very grateful that my friend Marina from home is a dentist as I wrote to her and asked what antibiotics I can take for my self diagnosed infection. She told me and so I went, bought some and am already feeling better for it.

I honestly feel like I have been pushed to the edge this week. So much work to do, so much stress to deal with - and all the while not being well.

But today, my limits were pushed even further, but in a good way I think. It was good for me.
Knowing that I live in this community now, and will be for the foreseeable future I decided I need to get more involved with the church I go to. I've been thinking this for weeks, but I've been taking things little by little. Not wanting to rush into anything, but getting myself known first in small ways.
Anyway, I was invited along to the church 'kids club' Oansa today. 2-4pm. Last week I met a Grade 2 girl after church who is the daughter of an ex-teacher here. She quickly decided she was my new best friend and wanted me to got o Oansa. Now having told Enoc and Jorge I'd go along one day I decided this was the day. So off I went, Jorge couldn't make it, Enoc was late and so I turned up and looked extraordinarily white and awkward. I greeted everyone I knew and then just didn't know what to do with myself! Noone knew me and I barely knew anyone at that point.
They started off by saying the National Prayer and the Oansa prayer - neither of which I knew! Then went into their groups. I followed 2 children I knew (what else was I going to do?!) and the first part for them was singing and listening to a Bible story. Yep....I didn't know the songs although caught most of the story. I felt sooooo out of place and in the way I just wanted to grab my car keys and run for the door! I was not appreciating it in any way at that point let me tell you! I was wondering why I was there, I wasn't needed and just was so obviously non-Honduran and so obviously not good at Spanish.
Next, they went out to play games. This was better, I went and sat on a bench at the side and introduced myself to 2 people and then along came an English speaking person and it improved considerably! They put me into a group that I could help with and immediately things improved, I went with the leader Yessenia and helped her listen to the children reciting their Bible Verses and was able to actually talk to the children - my point in being there. I enjoyed listening to the kids and talking to them. A good first step in getting to know people!

Then 2 hours later Amanda and I and Amanda's visiting friend Gayle, went back to church for the Youth Group. Youth group seems to have a different meaning to what we are used to. It seems to be anyone of any age as long as you are single. So, I am of age for a youth group! Who'd have thought?! Again, Jorge couldn't make it and Enoc was late (our translators!) The singing at the beginning, though disorganised this week, was good. Then we got split into 3 discussion groups...it meant we were split up and couldn't share our Spanish knowledge. Somehow the others ended up with English speakers in their group - and I got the group of guys who didn't speak English! Perfect! I just kept my mouth shut! Although I understood a lot, I was so increasingly frustrated that I couldn't talk and chat with everyone.

Then we went into our 'age' groups. I chickened out of going with the 'working people', but instead joined Enoc and Amanda in the university group - well I can still remember going to uni! The first question was directed at me and I was feeling entirely Spanished out, tired, frustrated at my lack of knowledge and by this point just wanting to go home! I managed to say something fairly useless - with Enoc's translation - and hoped that if I avoided eye contact that I could pretend I wasn't there and just listen quietly! My limits were being pushed shall we say!
Then, oh perfect, we were to practice for a mime/drama for the following week when we are going to a village to help build someones house, then having a service with them in their community. I'm excited about next week, but my stomach dropped when I heard the word drama! I don't do drama - never have! I said I'd just take photos or something - no one liked this idea! A mime can't be tooo bad I tried to convince myself, until Freddie gave me some part that to me at that point sounded horrendous! Everyone seemed to think I should do it and all I wanted to do at that very moment was cry! In fact, it was all I could do not to! My stressful week, day of feeling like I stand out, and lack of Spanish all caught up with me in a matter of 2 minutes! I went out to make a phone call simply so I could get myself together! Enoc came up trumps and got me out of it - eventually! There is one thing taking part and joining in - and another pushing yourself above and beyond your limits!
The drama itself is fantastic, very powerful indeed. Watching it is far better!

Going to the Youth Group, and going to Oansa was the best thing I could have done, despite the stress! It did push all my limits and it did make me feel out of place to a certain degree, and I can't say I loved all of it. However...it shows people we are making an effort to join in. It is maybe laying the ground work for us being a part of the community here. It is also good for me - I have to remind myself that! I'm glad I went and from here on it can only get easier!

A good point this week is that God has definitely been looking out for us. At the moment we are in the application process for residency, which means that every 3 months, Karlita, our administrator at school takes our Passports to Teguc with all the paperwork that she sorts for us. This week she went off and poor thing was mugged, but thankfully she is ok. What is amazing is that they did not take off with her bag, which had our 4 foreign passports in it!! They took her folder which had all our paper work in it. I'm sure that will cause some problems, but nothing like as much as if they had known what she actually had with her! Thank you God!